This parenting trap places all the blame for problems and misbehavior on the child. Some parents believe that acting out on the part of a child is evidence of a flawed personality or character trait that cannot be changed—”Oh, she’s just so stubborn. She never does what I tell her to do.”
This belief can make parents resentful and lead them to overreact to misbehavior. It also prevents some parents from looking at how their own actions contribute to their child’s behavior.
What to try instead:
- Ask for support from family and friends: Think of a particular behavior that you’d like correct in your child. Consider what circumstances seem to often trigger this behavior. Don’t forget to look honestly at the role you play in these circumstances. Finally, reach out to friends and family with specific questions about what actions you can take to initiate a change.