Many kids don’t love going to school. However, when it involves staring at a screen most of the day, even those who love learning are having a tough time with our new virtual reality. When school is 100% online, it’s all the hard, boring stuff without the fun parts like hanging out with your friends.
And it turns out that because of remote learning, kids are missing out on more than just fun. Experts who study child development say the social interactions that take place at school teach kids different, but equally important skills, than the academics.
School Teaches Social Skills
When COVID-19 first hit, many were focused on what kids would miss on the academic side. How will students be able to catch up in reading or math? How will students without access to computers or reliable Internet service be able to learn? While these continue to be valid concerns, there is also the social and emotional side to consider.
Back in June, the American Academy of Pediatrics put out a statement saying kids should go back to school in person this fall if possible. The statement set off quite a controversy and angered many parents. They weren’t wrong to be upset either. COVID-19 is a serious public health concern.
But the AAP was trying to make the point that it also matters for kids to be physically present with other kids and adults outside of their families. And this is especially true for preschool-age children for whom being in the classroom is less about learning to count and more about learning how to share and play with other kids.
The social interactions kids have at school are practice for the social interactions we have as adults. While these skills may seem to come naturally or automatically, they do not. We have to learn them.
How To Help Bridge the Socialization Gap
What can parents, adults, and the community do to support our kids through the potential socialization gap brought about by social distancing?
First, childhood development experts advise parents not to fret too much about what their kids might be missing here. Children tend to be some of the most resilient and adaptable humans.
They can gain a lot from interacting with parents, siblings, and even household pets. Even without physical interaction with their peers, kids can develop socially and emotionally.
In fact, psychologists agree that one of the best things parents can do for their kids during this time of uncertainty is to reduce their own anxiety as much as possible. It’s really important for parents to keep calm and try not to panic in front of their kids.
Instead, take comfort in the relationships you have within your own home. Research suggests that children who develop strong attachments with their parents have stronger friendships later in life. If there is more than one child in the home, siblings or close cousins can help each other learn to negotiate and resolve differences.
You can also facilitate socialization by having open conversations with your kids about the different roles people play within the family. Try thinking of your own home as a small socialization lab for you to teach your child skills they may not learn directly from their teachers.
For example, you can teach lessons about empathy and language by using your household pets as conversation starters asking questions like, “what do you think they’re feeling?” or “do you think they like this?” You can also practice naming feelings and discuss what the characters in books are thinking as you read out loud to your child.
Finally, to teach responsibility, give children developmentally appropriate responsibilities at home. You could ask your 4-year-old to help you create a schedule for the day or plan dinner for the week, for instance. For older children, have them do laundry or give them a budget and let them plan the grocery list for the week. All of these are transferable skills and will help your children feel more prepared when they can go back to their classrooms and friends.
The most important thing to keep in mind here is that now is not the time for lectures about learning social skills. If you keep learning moments playful, these lessons are more likely to stick. Remember that play is an essential form of learning for children too.
It’s true that children learn more than academics being physically present in the classroom with their peers and teachers. But they can also learn a lot at home!
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